No Judgement on here!

I come here to write where I know noone will judge me! And if they do, I can't see the looks out of the corner of their eye or hear the doubt and dismay in their voice. People don't realize what their words can do. They don't realize when someone is close to tears.
Words are so important. Just think about it, God just speaks and it happens. The sun shines, the moon keeps the tides from crashing into us, the earth plates stay calm and still because GOD spoke. I love God so much for being my all-in-all, my hero.

I noticed more and more this week my face on the right side is a bit droopy. It has been tingly on and off for a while, and kind of numb, not totally, just different than the other side. This week it started feeling heavy. If any of you have ever had your skin feel heavy, it's kind of freaky feeling!! Anyway, I was looking in the mirror and noticed that my eyelid was about halfway up compared to the left one. I tried hard hard hard to open it up more. So just to see what would happen I smiled. Oh God. It was only about 3/4 of a smile. Kind of looked like I was a cartoon smirking... And since then it has gotten a little worse. When I try to close my right eye it is like a fight. I look like I am snarling and my cheek is twitching. That eyelid feels sooo heavy. Some times are worse than others.

No, I am not self-diagnosing.... I am a nurse, noticing abnormals is what I do. But what is the nurse to do when the abnormal is their own?

My head hurts. Ok, sorry. I just had to add that in...



I have an appt with a new doctor tomorrow. She is a primary care physician. but Josh's geneticist says she's great and she is very knowledgable about Ehlers-Danlos. I don't want to totally blow her away the first time I meet her, but since I am only half smiling, I figure God brought this issue and her at just the right time. God loves me and He has BIG plans for me, I know He does, and He knows my pain and He knows my worries and He is my saving grace. There's a song that says "I don't have to prove a thing because You're the One who's saving me..." That is so perfect I cried when I heard it. I have to think all the time that I don't have to prove anything about how I feel to the doctors. God is my favor and He will show them what they need to see. Thank You God for loving me that much!