Sunday, January 17, 2010

Am I stupid or just a gluton for punishment???

I carried Kimber from the living room to her bed. She was asleep on the chair, exhausted, in pain and not feeling good. So, instead of waking her up I did what every parent loves to do. How can you be a parent and not love to carry your precious baby to bed? They are so peaceful and quiet and they grab tight because they know you are there for them.

I am sad that this has caused me great difficulty right now. Breathing and hurting... How can it be that I can't carry my baby to bed? Everyone who knows her knows she is no more than 35 pounds soaking wet! Hahaha. She's so small and I just want to make her pain go away. It's not fair.

But, my need to breathe and muscles and head are telling me that next time I will need to wake her up and walk her in that direction... Anyone who know Kimber also knows she sort of sleep walks too..... hahaha.

I'll miss it, maybe again one day, just hope she's not to big by then!


  1. I completely understand this one!! Its such a double edge sword and its not fair. I hade "trying" to bend down to their level, for kisses, for hugs...or waiting in the car until I can rouse my son because I simply cant carry him inside. Your so very right its just not fair. Take care of yourself!!


  2. Even though my are grown now this post brought back memories for me. When my first born was just six weeks old something very disastorous just happened it seemed to my whole body caused by lifting her from her cot. From that time many years ago now and a few months later from that episode although all my life there had been undiagnosed medical problems I was diagnosed with EDS. So yes its not fair. But us EDS mums can be very inventive as above comment describes with our love and our children I don't think ever 'feel' as though we are doing it wrong.

    I think often because I was in pain, in actual fact I spent a lot more time talking and spending time with mine when they were younger simply because I couldn't rush about so in that way I look at it as a positive about having EDS.

    Often they would get a whole lot more stories read to them or time sitting doing arty stuff involving painting pasta shapes and leaf printing bla bla whilst other mothers were rushing about being productive washing the floor!!

    Once a neighbour came in to my home, whose house was so completely spotless I used to secretly wish we could swop houses.Her boys were sitting on the floor surrounded by arty stuff and on the other side of the room was a makeshift den made out of blankets and furniture and the children were dressed up in a variety of bizarre outfits from the dressing up box with me sitting amongst the chaos in pain but happy. She actually said right out loud that she wished she could be as laid back as me around her children and then they may have more fun!

    We would turn clearing up the 'mess' into a game as well where if it were done collectively and without tears before bedtime scenario's then from the box in the kitchen the next time pain was so bad I couldn't do a damn thing they got something to add to the 'do what you fancy box' in the form of new paints, or stickers etc..

    My children were certainly not slaves either but I had to adapt and they were not in any way deprived because of this. I do understand what you say but don't you dare feel guilty for not being a perfect mum. To them you are unique. In actual fact if she had fallen asleep in pain then stretching her limbs and muscles a little before getting into actual bed is probably doing her a favour.

    I really really get what you are saying but honestly Trish - I think you do brilliantly bearing in mind how very poorly you are right now.

    I've gone and done it again my comment is longer than your post.

    The photo's are superb and you are blessed with a beautiful little girl.

  3. Ilike the "do what you fancy box" idea!! I might have to steal that fomr you and see what we can do with it!. Have you heard anything about your daughter? I've been thinking a lot about her lately. =)