Friday, July 30, 2010

No such luck...

I guess surgery for the parathyroid tumor right now was just not meant to be... The doc I went to was very not nice. He got nasty with me and raised his voice even. I have it in the right mind to send him a letter letting him know how unprofessional it was... He just kept saying "why would you want someone hacking on your neck when it won't help you any?" Really? First of all, it wasn't like I asked or this tumor to be strategically placed there so some physician could "hack" away at my neck... Secondly, I was not aware that it would not help me... I did not raise my voice with him, nor did I say anything that a normal patient would have... I simply said "I think we are done here..." and left. Of course I couldn't drive for the first few minutes because my emotions took over and the tears started flowing... All I wanted was for someone to say "Yes, this is what's wrong and I can help you get better." But, alas, I must face that they are not my heros, ultimately God knows best, and He has a plan for me, a goal, and I will face this head on!

My doc enlisted the opinion of another endocrinologist with the results and questions and at least had a great conversation with her, no raised voices... =) She did say that the tumor is not big enough yet to be causing all of the problems that I am having and that although it causes muscle weakness, it does not cause "focal" muscle weakness that I am having. It wouldn't cause seizures or trouble swallowing. So, she did say we needed to monitor the tumor and hormone levels with consideration to remove it at a later date.

I have finally given in. I have been so desperate for God to just show them something that can be fixed quickly so that I am not faced with living this way for so long. But I am facing it now. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and a Partial expression Mitochondrial or metabolic disease. Both are things that I will learn, with the help of God, how to live around. I will not give in to them, they will not define who I am, but I will learn how to turn them into praise! I will take what God has given me and allow Him to turn water into wine!

So, Happy Birthday to me. I am 29 today and I am going to turn a new leaf. I am not as fast, steady, tough, put together, or patient as I once was, but this will not take over. I will learn how to be a new me, with new goals. I will see it to the end and know that God is holding my hands and heart the whole way.


  1. sorry you're having dr issues and hope you have a happy birthday

  2. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about letting go and letting God. It is so hard to not find a fix for our problems.

    I've been struggling with this too. Somehow I am finding peace. I hope you do too!

    So that is my birthday wish for you! Peace with your life and the blessings that come with it! Happy Birthday!!!

    Hugs and Blessings!