Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Post a day?

I'm in a new contest to see if who can post everyday. The requirements state that it has to be something that makes absolutely no sense and not really matter to anyone else except you! Hahaha

Just Kidding.

No, but seriously, I just feel this intense need to lay it all out there on the table. Let it all go. God, I trust You to take care of me, to love me and make sure that I have what I need. You know better than I do what I need. Especially regarding my body.

I feel like it is betraying me right now. I feel like I am on a down hill slope, and you can best bet it isn't the bunny slope... I guess in my own mind I thought I had come to grips with how I was doing. I had "figured it out" as far as how to control the symptoms. Boy was I wrong. I am not in control God, You are. You will bring me through this just as every other time, regardless of my state of panic, so what good will it do me to panic?

I will do the laundry today, cook dinner, maybe finish some school work, and then I will go to sleep. Tomorrow I will take Kimber to her appointment and pray that You guide that appointment. That it meet your standards, Your expectations and that You will guide her in the right direction, be that something beneficial or not.

No stress will take away my muscle weakness, so no point in adding anything extra to my mix. =)

Later this day... Yup, that's right... It's the same day...
I emailed my doctor just now to let her know of the changes... I figured I had better not show up on her office doorstep with a myriad of symptoms that are progressively getting worse...again... without some warning. Not that she can do much since I don't have insurance right now... No way we can pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for more testing that will turn out the same as last time... Shoot, we can't even pay tens of dollars right now. So, I guess it was useless to tell her, except that I just felt compelled. Haha. I'm sure she appreciates my extra long compulsion.... =)

Even Later this day... Hahahaha
So my doctor emailed me back tonight and decided to give me what might have sounded like a good lashing if I could actually hear her... I guess me telling her honestly that I had stopped the supplements because we ran out of them and money made her even more sure that this is a mitochondrial storage disease and that my "deterioration" is a for sure result of not taking the supplements. Hmmm. Curious thought just hit me. I wonder how mad she would be to know that, although that was not a lie, I stopped taking them months ago versus weeks ago because we ran out of money months ago..... I wonder if that makes a big difference.... Oh well, will have to curiously be wondering because I do not want another lashing email!! =) At least I have a doctor that responds to me via email. for that I am thankful.


  1. I don't think I am getting all of your posts in my reader and have no idea why.

    Anyhow post everyday, geez not sure I can read everyday so hope that isn't part of the contest. tee hee

    At least you do the laundry! My house is one big laundry pile and that is no exageration.

    I got a credit card through today which gave me a 3500 limit. Its a good job I don't believe in them. It fails me why they give them out to people who have no money in the first place!

    Sometimes I think just writing it all down and sending to a doctor helps not sure why I think that I just think it.

    Anyway signing out but am thinking of you.

  2. Thanks lady bug!! My doctor gave me a good once over for not being on the supplements, but they are expensive, and when we had to choose between food for our kids and electricity versus supplements, well you guess which got my vote........ Anyway, supplements are ordered and we'll start again and see if they make any difference, and if they don't and two months from now I am still "deteriorating" just like before, well then she will be back to square one. I am not as convinced as she is that it is a mitochondrial storage disease because they typically show up on muscle biopsy, and while I would love more than anything to put a name to this ugly disease, I would like for it to be the right name and not the "suspected" name.

    Haha, now I wish I could unclick the send button to her because I would have like to have already been back on the supplements before letting her know I have deteriorated.....

    I hear you about the credit cards!!! We want no part of them!! Way to much trouble!! If I can't pay cash, then I don't need it. Well, except my car... haha