Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Can We Ever Really Know How Blessed and Protected We Are??

Ever since I was a little girl I knew God was there with me. I just knew. I don't know how to explain it, He guarded me during the most difficult of times, sheltered me like a Father would His baby girl. I have sat in the loving arms of God, engulfed in His rest and peace. It is the most amazing, calm, warm and gentle place to be. I have never felt anything like it. I have not doubted in the faithfulness of God. He has always been there for me, through thick and thin, rain and hurricanes in my life. I know He will be there again, even as the attacks get stronger, harder, like Job... Job knew God was faithful, but he questioned God's motives. Job never turned away from God, and the more pain he endured, the more he cried out to God, even if it was to question God. Doubt is a game of the enemy. To make us doubt ourselves, our faith, our very solid foundation. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I still need to see God's hand move when I know He is orchestrating my life. I'm not sure why. Is it because I am scared that He will just let go? When has He ever done that? Never. But still, I feel like doubting Thomas.

Today I doubted, not God's love, or His faithfulness to fulfill His promise. Every set back makes me weary. So is it real doubt or fear? Or are they one in the same? But God knew I would do that before the thoughts crossed my mind, so He chose to give me peace before the doubts came so that I would not worry.

My husband was in a car accident today. He was driving on the interstate and the car in front of him stopped in the middle of the road to avoid a piece of metal debri. My husband stopped in time, but the car behind him did not stop... God showed His glory today. No one was hurt. Eric saw the guy behind him coming, he turned the wheels just enough that when the car slammed into the back of him it drove him around and beside the car that had stopped in front of him, and into the wall Eric went. My God is loving, gracious, and protective. He sheltered my husband from what could have been a very bad accident. He made it so that the car behind Eric did not slam into him at interstate speeds, but went up under the back of our car, then allowed our car to be pushed around the one in front of it instead of being crunched between the two. =) And hit the wall he did, but once again God spared him. All three in the accident were able to walk out of their cars. The air bags never deployed like they should have (they are supposed to deploy at 15 mph collision, this one was 50mph after the screeching brakes and tires of the car behind him).
I have seen accidents on that interstate. Mangled, crumpled wreckage leaving behind broken lives, shattered dreams and hopes that people will live. To be able to walk away unscaved from a three car pile up and not be struck by oncoming traffic at 70mph is a miracle in my books. Maybe the pope needs to witness it himself, but I know my God and He loves us so very much. He is always there, but will show up strong in times when we need Him most. We may not see Him, may not hear Him, but He is there, holding us, protecting us, waiting for us to realize that He never left. He was waiting for us to come to Him.
I have a strange peace right now. One that I know is not from my own power or my own thoughts. Not from trying to be a good person and do things on my own power, but from God. He always shows up just when we need Him, and somehow, right now, my pain does not matter. My husband is ok. And even though our future is very uncertain right now, I don't worry. I don't doubt, because God spared us today and I walk in His peace and rest and remember that He is for me, and when He is for me not a thing in this world can take that away. God will fulfill His promises. He has numbered every hair on my head, knows every emotion I feel and is there before I even realize that I need Him.

I am sure I will doubt again, that's human nature. I will worry, go astray like the lamb in the field, but my God will always bring me back in, show me His love and mercy and let me know that I do not need to be afraid. =)

Peace and Rest and Blessings in the Name of Jesus to all my friends who are hurting, which is pretty much all of them because we all hurt sometime.

Thank You God.

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